Microsoft AI Sales Targets Slashed.
Also The Filing Cabinet Is Out of Paper

The Quarterly Report on the Department's New 'Digital Assistant'

Microsoft had to drastically cut its internal sales targets for its generative AI products after its salespeople found the targets to be what is medically known as "unachievable." The company’s executive management originally set extremely high quotas for the AI division, presuming a seamless enterprise adoption; however, customers are currently resisting unproven agents and the associated high price points for tools like Copilot, effectively demanding proof of a return on investment before signing the big checks.

It appears the market is not yet ready to pay thousands of dollars for an assistant that is essentially a chatbot with a dedicated seat at the board meeting; customers are exercising caution, and now Microsoft has cut the targets by nearly half. This reminds me of when the company spent three years building that incredibly complex new fax machine protocol, and then everyone just kept using email anyway.

Premium Subscription Tier Now Available for Academic Extensions

A staggering 38 percent of students at Stanford University are claiming to have a disability, with many securing accommodations for mental health reasons, leading to a kind of bureaucratic arms race for academic advantage. These accommodations, often granted for conditions like anxiety or depression, commonly include extra time on tests, quiet testing environments, and assignment extensions; this has become the new high-score strategy in a high-pressure environment where a perfect transcript is currency.

When the system is so intensely optimized for competition that the only way to get a break is by filing the proper paperwork, then the paperwork is clearly the most valuable degree. It is no longer about learning the material; it is about learning how to game the HR-mandated wellness policy for an extra week on the Capstone project.

We Have Located the Global Supply of DRAM; It Is Hiding from Us

The great DRAM shortage has officially made the cost of the digital world's basic building blocks utterly ridiculous, with the average price surging over 68 percent in the last eighteen months. The price hikes are so absurd that there is now a headline stating that Samsung will not even sell RAM to its own internal divisions.

This is a classic supply chain mishap, where the most essential component now costs more than the finished product it is supposed to enable. It's like finding out the company's only working stapler is now a traded commodity on the NYSE; you can look at it, but you definitely cannot use it for that mandatory filing you need to submit by 5 PM. The only good news is that Unreal Tournament 2004 is back online, giving us something to do while we wait for the memory prices to crash.

Briefs

• Small Aircraft Mishap: A Cozy Mk IV light aircraft crashed after a critical 3D-printed part was weakened by heat; the lesson here is that when you are building a plane in the garage, maybe do not use the cheapest filament to fabricate the engine bracket.
• Data Inception: PGlite is an embeddable version of Postgres that runs entirely in the browser, meaning we can now run an entire SQL database inside a JavaScript tab that is probably already running inside a virtual machine which is running inside another container.
• Frameworks Never Die: Django 6.0 has arrived, proving that not all software has to be a breathless microservice written in Rust and deployed via a Kubernetes cluster; sometimes, a reliable old monolith in Python just gets the paperwork submitted on time.