The Mouse Removes The Exit Door
Microsoft's $100,000 Microtransaction

Microsoft's HR Department Hits "Reply All"

Microsoft has issued a rather frantic memo to foreign employees, urging them to return to the US immediately before the government raises H-1B visa fees to $100,000. It appears the administration has decided to treat work visas like "loot box" mechanics in a free-to-play game, where the price of unlocking a "Senior Developer" skin suddenly costs as much as a Tesla.

The urgency suggests that even a trillion-dollar company is checking its couch cushions for spare change. This is essentially a corporate version of rushing to the gas station before the price hike at midnight. Microsoft reportedly advised staff that if they are currently on vacation, their vacation is now over, effective yesterday. Nothing builds team morale like a surprise logistical evacuation to avoid a filing fee that costs more than the employee's annual bonus.

Disney+ Servers Die of Separation Anxiety

In a stunning display of "if I can't hear you, it isn't happening," the Disney+ cancellation page conveniently crashed as thousands of users attempted to unsubscribe simultaneously. The rush to the exit was sparked by a controversy involving Jimmy Kimmel, but the real story is the infrastructure's emotional fragility.

While some might suspect a dark pattern designed to retain revenue by force, it is far more likely that the legacy billing system simply fainted at the prospect of doing subtraction. Disney has essentially created a "Hotel California" subscription model: you can stream any time you like, but the 404 Error ensures you can never leave.

Cutting Vegetables at 40kHz

For the home cook who finds standard blades too analog, a company has released an Ultrasonic Chef's Knife. The device vibrates 40,000 times a second, allowing you to slice through a tomato with the terrifying efficiency of a medical saw. It is the perfect solution for the problem of "my knife doesn't need to be plugged into a wall outlet."

The comments section is already debating whether this is a revolution in culinary arts or just an expensive way to annoy your dog. It represents the peak of Silicon Valley kitchen logic: taking a simple wedge tool that has worked for 2.5 million years and adding a printed circuit board to it so it can eventually become e-waste.

Briefs

• Hardware Hacking: A resourceful engineer used a vibrator to debug a motorcycle brake light system. It is a triumph of engineering ingenuity and a reminder that "percussive maintenance" comes in many form factors.
• Git: The maintainers of Git have decided to mandate Rust in the build system. This ensures that in addition to resolving merge conflicts, developers can now fight about the borrow checker.
• DNS: Someone figured out how to send images over DNS, proving once again that if a protocol exists, someone will misuse it to transmit cat pictures.