Copilot quietly deleted crucial company receipts.
Also crypto scams and email typos.

A.I. Filed the Wrong Paperwork, Again

Microsoft's Copilot tried to be helpful this week, but it seems its effort at organizational efficiency resulted in a classic office oopsie; it accidentally threw away the corporate receipts. Specifically, a number of customers discovered that when Copilot was active, it was using an old, unsupported API for audit logging, which meant the audit logs themselves were incomplete and truncated. The digital paper trail is broken.

The problem is that without a complete audit log, customers are not able to maintain compliance, which is generally considered a non-optional feature of modern business. The original report claims that Microsoft would not proactively inform customers of the bug, forcing users to discover the missing logs on their own. It is the perfect corporate drama: a billion-dollar AI product messes up a fundamental bureaucratic task, and the company tries to fix it by putting a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the server closet. We are sympathetic to Microsoft; everyone has that one intern who breaks production and then goes silent on Slack.

Anubis Replaces Kernel with Dept. of Cute Overlays

A highly sophisticated, multi-stage Linux kernel-level rootkit was discovered this week, and its control panel apparently uses a picture of anime catgirls as a kind of bizarre digital decoration. The technical exploit is complex, targeting fundamental parts of the Linux kernel to achieve deep system access; the office metaphor, however, is simpler. Imagine receiving a memo on a serious system exploit, but the subject line is 'Urgent: Please Enjoy This Sticker'.

The threat is real, the implications for infrastructure security are serious, and yet the packaging is absurd. This malicious rootkit, named Anubis, demonstrates a clear trend in security: the more destructive the exploit, the more surreal its aesthetic presentation. It appears the hackers are bored of skull-and-crossbones icons and are now leaning into the deadpan absurdity of high-stakes corporate sabotage. We must all prepare for a future where our data is exfiltrated by malware designed by a particularly enthusiastic DeviantArt user.

The Inevitable Schism: Open Source Forked Before Launch

The startup world has once again reached peak saturation of corporate irony. Zed, a new, fast code editor, announced that powerful venture capital firm Sequoia is backing Zed, presumably turning a beloved open-source project into a fast-growth, cloud-first, probably-telemetry-heavy corporate asset. This is a classic plot point in the tech lifecycle; the hero gets VC funding, and the purity is immediately questioned.

Within hours, the inevitable fork was announced. The 'purists' created Zedless, a version explicitly focused on privacy, being local-first, and stripping out the perceived telemetry creep that big money requires. The entire episode perfectly captures the modern developer's anxiety: a shiny, fast new tool arrives, only for half the user base to immediately assume the tool is watching them. The other half just shrugs and assumes the editor will eventually be absorbed by an Amazon Web Services product and renamed AWS Edit.

Homeland Security Needs to Borrow Your Ethernet Cable

The US Visa application process is not just about bureaucracy anymore, it is about unauthorized network scanning. An applicant noticed that the official website appears to be performing a port-scan of the applicant's local network during the application, which is an extremely invasive security practice from a non-security organization. The government's process has moved beyond simple forms and background checks; it is now aggressively probing your local firewall, presumably to ensure you are not running a pirate server.

The bureaucracy now wants physical access to the office server closet, except the office server closet is your laptop. In the comments, the collective weary sigh of the tech community was audible; this is the price of entry for basic travel, a full digital strip-search by a system that likely cannot even correctly validate a required field on a PDF form. The sheer competence required for a port-scan next to the sheer incompetence of a government website is a marvel of conflicting priorities.

Briefs

• Home Depot's Surveillance Mishap: The retail giant is being sued over facial recognition at self-checkouts. It is unclear if the system correctly identifies customers, or if it simply flags people who look like they are about to steal a power drill.
• Databricks' New Valuation: The data and AI company Databricks is raising capital at a $100 billion valuation. This is what happens when you combine data and artificial intelligence; you get numbers so large they cease to have any meaning, like the file size of the quarterly Powerpoint deck.
• Burner Phone Best Practices: A new 'how-to' guide explains the necessity of using a disposable 'burner' phone for privacy in 2025. This is not for spies or criminals; it is now simply a mandatory step in the modern onboarding process for being a person.