Decades are now minimum viable product timeline.
Also an AI intern created technical debt and your laptop is too hot.

The New Executive Mandate: Project Slowdown

The C Suite has issued a new memo that suggests we all abandon "agile sprints" and "quick wins" in favor of whatever this Slow manifesto is. The core argument is that the world only rewards problems that take fifty to one hundred years to solve, citing things like the construction of the Sagrada Família in Barcelona. If your project does not require you to plant an oak tree today for a beam that will be used in 2225, you are apparently engaged in what the author, Michael Notebook, calls a high urgency distraction.

Our new planning document suggests that instead of deploying a microservice, we should be focused on the kind of generational research that is completely illegible to our current quarterly review process. This means abandoning all existing production code and starting over with a vision that will outlast the next five CEOs. Good luck explaining that budget to Brenda in Finance; she is going to love funding the '200 year lumber' initiative.

AI Assistant Requires Constant Micromanagement, Creates Technical Debt

The great experiment of outsourcing engineering work to the AI assistant Claude Code has concluded with the predictable finding: an intern is still an intern, even one that runs on a massive compute cluster. A development team using the tool for six weeks discovered that the resulting codebase grew beyond their comprehension, forcing weeks of refactoring.

This is not a ceiling raiser; it is a floor raiser that costs a lot of money and introduces novel, subtle bugs. Think of the tool as hiring a very enthusiastic college student who can generate a thousand lines of code in a minute, but those thousand lines only function at a "vibe" level of coding and require five hours of senior engineer review. The tool is simply too good at generating code that is "almost right," which is famously the most expensive kind of wrong, meaning the entire company is now carrying an AI created productivity tax.

The Expensive Laptop Woke Up Again, Overheated Itself

Apple’s famously minimalist hardware design has again translated into maximally stressful ownership, this time with the MacBook Pro suffering from Insomnia. Owners of the sleek, expensive machines are reporting that the device will simply refuse to stay asleep, even with the lid closed. This leads to a nice, battery draining thermal event while the laptop is zipped up inside a backpack.

The source of this nocturnal mischief is, naturally, impossible to trace. It could be the power management settings, a misconfigured DHCP lease time on a router, or that one document application trying to index your notes. It is a mystery that requires digging through inscrutable system logs. The only reliable solution seems to be to disconnect every external drive and plug the entire system into a wall socket, treating the high-end machine like an eccentric, fussy desktop PC.

Briefs

• Open Source Server: Ubiquiti has launched UniFi OS Server for self hosting its network ecosystem. Great, now the IT department can sell you on buying a second server just to run the interface that manages the first server.
• Siberian Tattoo Theory: A 2,500 year old Siberian 'ice mummy' had intricate tattoos, imaging reveals. The only difference between a CEO and a mummy is that the mummy is not trying to sell you a blockchain solution for your ancient body.
• Block BEARD Act: U.S. senators want to introduce a new pirate site blocking bill with the very serious, very professional name 'Block BEARD'. The name stands for Block Bad Electronic Art and Recording Distributors, which is what happens when a focus group tries to be cool and fails.