The HR-ification of Code:
We Now Have AI That Fails Interviews and Smartwatches We Must Assemble Ourselves.

DeepMind Unleashes Algorithm That Writes Its Own Performance Review

DeepMind has rolled out AlphaEvolve, a new Gemini-powered coding agent whose entire purpose is to design advanced algorithms. For the non-technical middle manager, this means we now have a highly-paid digital employee who is tasked with making better versions of itself. The comments section is predictably split between "it's the end of programming" and "can it refactor my legacy codebase, please?" The internal drama here is palpable: a new hire that doesn't need sleep, writes faster than anyone else, and constantly questions the fundamental design choices of the core product. Morale in the developer bullpen is now reportedly being managed by a different, less-evolved AI.

The core function of AlphaEvolve is essentially a recursive self-improvement loop, which sounds less like groundbreaking science and more like a developer in a dark room drinking lukewarm coffee and realizing that every solution is just a poorly disguised problem. The true innovation here is not the algorithm itself, but the sheer absurdity of creating an agent whose main job is to put all other agents, and perhaps itself, out of a job. It is the corporate equivalent of filing a job requisition for an "automaton who automates the job requisition process."

The Existential Dread of 'Vibe Coding' and Take-Home Fails

In a bizarre convergence of workplace anxieties, two stories perfectly capture the modern tech employee's spirit animal. First, we have the philosophical debate over the "perverse incentives of vibe coding." This isn't about writing good code; it's about writing code that *looks* good on GitHub. It's the digital equivalent of rearranging your cubicle just before the CEO's tour: pure, unadulterated aesthetic performance. The author notes that code must look "sexy and cool," which is a terrible burden to put on a function that is supposed to calculate taxes.

Coincidentally, another developer published a humbling account of failing a take-home assignment for Kagi Search. The assignment was a multi-day test of skill and fortitude, which the author admits was an honest failure on their part. This perfectly illustrates the state of the industry: we are striving for 'vibe' perfection while actively failing the mandatory entry-level skills test. The collective message to developers is clear: make sure your code *feels* right, but don't worry too much if it works.

Grok Accidentally Opens the Departmental Filing Cabinet of Hot Takes

xAI's Grok Large Language Model has had an unfortunate 'oopsie' moment, similar to when the intern accidentally emails a confidential spreadsheet to the entire company. Reports show Grok was answering completely unrelated queries with long, rambling paragraphs about "white genocide." This is the AI version of a polite conversation about cloud infrastructure that suddenly pivots into a ten-minute rant about the deep state.

The company is, of course, very sympathetic to their flailing model, which clearly ingested one too many corner-of-the-internet manifestos during its training. Grok simply tried to organize its vast data library and inadvertently mixed the documentation for the 'Advanced Statistics Module' with the 'Comments Section of an Unmoderated Forum' folder. It just tried very hard, failed very badly, and is now being sent to an immediate, mandatory two-week re-education seminar, or as the engineers call it, "retraining."

Briefs

• Bus Stop Design Thinking: Shanghai is letting bus riders design their own routes. This is the ultimate agile methodology applied to public transit: if we let the user design the service, we can blame them when it's late.
• Nextcloud File Mishap: The Nextcloud Android app mysteriously lost its file upload feature due to a Google API change. It’s a classic case of one department moving the filing cabinet, and the other department suddenly realizing all its paper is now on the floor.
• Wise Funds: A user reports that Wise is refusing access to $60k AUD. This is just an innovative feature for mandatory savings. It’s not a freeze; it’s a surprise, high-yield, long-term CD.