Deceased CEO Approves All Unsolicited Requests
Also Philanthropy and Tariff Invoices

The Executive Ghost Approves All Pending Tickets

In a bizarre example of how our internal security protocols favor charisma over common sense, several users reported receiving a spam email seemingly from the late Steve Jobs. The email's content was simple, only stating, "Great idea, thank you," a phrase so perfectly generic and yet authoritative that it managed to slip past sophisticated spam filters across multiple enterprise platforms. It turns out the most effective phishing tactic is not a Nigerian Prince or a gift card scam; it is merely pretending to be a beloved executive and giving a vaguely positive, non, committal response to a phantom proposal.

The Systems Administrator, Hayman, who detailed this security oopsie, noted that the filters essentially trusted the source due to the perceived importance of the name. It is a perfect metaphor for the corporate world; if the person is famous enough, we simply turn off the risk analysis and let the communication through. The comments section devolved into a predictable existential crisis regarding the futility of spam filtering, suggesting that the only way to stop these emails is to physically disconnect the entire internet. We are not there yet, but we are working on it.

Twenty Years to Clear the Inbox; A New Executive Mandate

Bill Gates, Principal Visionary, has assigned himself a twenty, year horizon for a new kind of project: giving away virtually all of his wealth. The initiative, documented on his blog, sounds less like world, changing philanthropy and more like a mandatory, multi, decade decommissioning project with an arbitrary deadline. The deadline is rigid, but the scope is apparently fluid.

The HN commentariat, as always, is skeptical of the timeline, suggesting that twenty years is far too much time to offload something as simple as money, or that the entire endeavor is simply a complex tax, loop, optimization strategy. Regardless, the task is set: the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has received its new, long, term Jira ticket, and the final deploy date is sometime in 2045.

Facilities Management Signs Off on Nuclear Expansion

Search giant Google is apparently bored with only tackling energy consumption via solar panels on its server farms and has decided to venture into the complex world of atomic physics. Google is now backing three new advanced nuclear projects. We assume the executive memo read something like, "We need more juice for our LLMs, let's just build a couple of reactors, what's the worst that could happen; it's just facilities management at scale."

The goal is to push the envelope on stable, carbon, free energy, but it mostly just feels like the next logical step for a company that already manages global infrastructure, an email system, and most of your personal data. It is a short walk from organizing the world's information to organizing the subatomic world.

Briefs

• Editor Wars Rebooted: The open, source community, tired of one AI coding partner, has already launched Void, an alternative to Cursor. The revolution will be televised, but only in the form of slightly different syntax highlighting schemes.
• Microservices Cost Prohibitive: We've reached the stage where consultants are admitting that microservices are a tax that small startups simply cannot afford. It turns out that over, engineering your architecture just to feel like Google is fiscally irresponsible.
• Tough Negotiations: Crypto transactions have, apparently, entered the severed fingers and abductions stage. This sounds like an extreme HR dispute over a vesting schedule, not a financial system.