New AI cannot draw the correct fedora.
Also Microsoft found old file cabinets and a cursed spreadsheet.

The Compliance Department Strikes Back at the Adventurer Hat

It turns out that generating an image of a rugged archeologist with a leather jacket, a bullwhip, and a very specific hat is now considered a compliance issue for large language models. The latest AI systems are designed to reject prompts that step too close to copyrighted material, meaning a user attempting to recreate a certain cinematic hero simply gets a generic substitute.

This is an excellent example of a billion-dollar machine being stopped dead by the corporate equivalent of an overzealous HR memo about "brand safety." The system essentially filed a noise complaint against itself; it will allow the generic concept of a treasure hunter but freezes up when asked for the specific Intellectual Property of an Adventurer. It is not a technical failure; it is a profound, systemic case of digital cowardice, proving that the future of creativity is apparently going to be policed by algorithms with the legal-risk tolerance of an entry-level paralegal.

Another Five Year Plan for the Robots

The tech industry has once again dropped its quarterly future-gazing document; this time it is called AI 2027. These forecasts are the digital equivalent of an office whiteboard covered in sticky notes from a brainstorming session fueled by too much caffeine. The report claims everything you know is wrong and that new, crucial "Senior Developer Skills" now involve knowing how to delegate your work to a coding agent.

It turns out that the secret to being a seasoned developer in the AI age is simply being very good at managing a robot intern. It is less a new skill set and more the age-old art of pretending you are overseeing a complex project while actually just reading documentation. The industry is currently in phase four of the AI hype cycle: where we transition from "The AI will save us all" to "You still need to know how to fix the AI when it inevitably breaks something important."

The Archives Team Unboxes the Old Server

In a move that sounds exactly like an IT department finally finding a stack of floppy disks in the back of a closet, Microsoft is releasing its original source code. According to co-founder Bill Gates, the source code for the Altair BASIC and MS-DOS versions 1.1 and 2.0 is being shared with the Computer History Museum to celebrate the company's 50th anniversary.

This is a heartwarming story about corporate responsibility, but mostly it reminds the systems administrator community that somewhere, right now, someone is responsible for maintaining a machine running code that is older than their mortgage. This source code is the archaeological proof that all modern complex software began as a handful of instructions cobbled together on a Tuesday. Hopefully, no one tries to build this in production.

Briefs

• Identity Theft Utility: Curl-impersonate is now a special build of the curl tool that allows it to impersonate major browsers. Excellent, now your server can convincingly pretend to be a web developer taking a long lunch.
• The Zombie Spreadsheet: The horrifying reality of Cursed Excel means adding "1/2" plus one somehow equals 45660. The only logical explanation is that the spreadsheet is calculating time in the future where half of a unit is one complete fiscal quarter.
• Immigration Travel Ban: Tech companies are advising immigrant employees on visas not to leave the United States, suggesting a panic over complex bureaucratic rules. The official policy is: "You cannot lose your corporate badge if you never leave the building." Travel restrictions are now mandatory.