GIMP Finally Files the Paperwork:
And Amazon Optimizes the Org Chart

The Graphics Department Finally Upgraded Their Software

In what can only be described as the longest administrative delay in open-source history, the team behind the GNU Image Manipulation Program has officially released GIMP 3.0. Imagine a ticket in the IT queue that has been "pending review" since the Bush administration, and you begin to understand the magnitude of this event. This update finally ports the application to GTK3, which is a bit like corporate finally agreeing to upgrade the office from Windows XP to Windows 7—it is technically an improvement, even if the rest of the world moved on years ago.

The release brings non-destructive editing, which means users can now make mistakes without permanently ruining the file, a luxury usually reserved for executives. While Adobe continues to charge a monthly subscription equivalent to a car lease, GIMP remains free, proving that if you wait twenty years, the community will eventually get around to fixing the user interface. It is a triumph of stubbornness over capital.

Amazon Sunsets the "Privacy" Button

Amazon has decided that the "do not send voice recordings" toggle in the Alexa privacy settings was essentially just cluttering up the dashboard. Users noticed the feature is gone, presumably because the data retention team felt lonely. This is a classic case of removing a feature because it interfered with "operational synergy," which is corporate speak for "we want to train our models on your kitchen conversations."

Usually, when a company removes a user agency feature, they send a polite email explaining how this will "enhance your experience." Amazon skipped the memo and just archived the functionality. It is the digital equivalent of the office manager removing the suggestion box because people kept suggesting "stop listening to us."

Managers Managed Out of Management

Amazon is planning to lay off 14,000 managers to save $3.5 billion annually, proving that the only thing more expendable than a warehouse worker is the person supervising the warehouse worker. The company is trying to "flatten the organization," which usually means the people actually doing the work will now report to someone ten time zones away who doesn't know what the project is.

This is a massive reduction in the "people who schedule meetings" demographic. While efficiency is the stated goal, one has to wonder who is going to approve the expense reports for the remaining employees. We are witnessing a real-time experiment in how many layers of bureaucracy can be removed before the filing cabinet catches fire.

Briefs

• The Intern Was Right: An undergraduate student disproved a 40-year-old conjecture and invented a new kind of hash table. This is incredibly embarrassing for every tenured professor who spent four decades teaching the wrong thing.
• Corporate Espionage: HR software company Rippling is suing Deel over alleged spying. It appears even the companies that manage our payroll are engaging in petty office drama, just with higher legal fees.
• Spaghetti Management: A new open-source project called "Underware 2.0" offers infinite cable management. Finally, a solution for the server room that looks less like a rat's nest and more like something that won't violate fire codes.