Jeep displays advertisements during stops.
Also cable fires and human resources turbulence.

The Stoplight Pop-Up: Corporate Synergy Achieved

Stellantis, the parent company of Jeep, has finally solved the age-old problem of the captive audience by turning the humble red light into a forced marketing session. Owners of various Jeep models, including the Grand Cherokee, now report that their infotainment screens are being hijacked by full-screen pop-up advertisements every time the vehicle comes to a complete stop. The ads are specifically pushing the "FlexCare Extended Care Premium Plans," which is a wonderful brand synergy: a constant reminder that your expensive vehicle might be about to break, so you should pay more money for peace of mind.

A JeepCares representative acknowledged the intentional message, while simultaneously blaming a "temporary software glitch" for the high-frequency and the inability for users to immediately opt out, which is exactly what a systems administrator says right before the whole department goes down. They helpfully suggested drivers simply tap the "X" to dismiss the constant ad barrage. Apparently, being forced to manually click out of a warranty solicitation is the new feature, replacing what used to be called "smooth driving." The ads are reportedly part of a contractual agreement with SiriusXM, which means this is not a glitch; it is a feature, and it is here to stay, like the perpetually sticky keyboard in cubicle 3B.

Nvidia’s High-Wattage Space Heater Initiative

It appears that Nvidia Corporation has once again achieved a thermal event with its latest top-tier hardware. Reports are circulating that the power connectors on the flagship GeForce RTX 5090 graphics card are melting, which is a disappointing, yet predictable, sequel to the same issues that plagued the previous generation. The culprit seems to be the high-wattage 12V-2x6 connector, which is a new standard designed to prevent the very fire hazard it is now actively creating.

One Reddit user reported detecting a burning odor while playing a video game before discovering severe damage to their GPU's connector. While Nvidia often suggests that users are simply not plugging the cables in correctly, hardware companies like MSI even introduced yellow-tipped cables to make it visually clear when the plug is fully seated, but the cables still melted anyway. It turns out that delivering a vast amount of power through a tiny connector is less a matter of engineering and more a continuous, mandatory stress test for your home fire suppression system.

The AI Intern Fails Performance Review

The C-Suite’s favorite new toy, the generative AI model, is officially not ready for primetime, but that has not stopped companies from making terrible decisions based on its projected capabilities. Numerous companies are reportedly making the grave mistake of firing their existing software programmers and developers under the assumption that a large language model can just fill the void. This decision is not surprising, considering the same executives likely think a Python script can replace an entire IT department.

This is an HR mistake rooted in wishful thinking; the AI can generate a passable first draft of code, but it is the senior programmer who has to fix the inevitable memory leak and rewrite the entire authentication layer that the model quietly overlooked. In a related story, Thomson Reuters won a copyright case against AI company Ross Intelligence because Ross used Reuters' proprietary legal headnotes to train its system. This confirms that the AI is, at its core, a plagiarism machine with a billion-dollar valuation, making it a perfect fit for the corporate world, provided it does not file a competing product while doing so.

Briefs

• Backblaze Drive Stats: The data storage company has released its hard drive failure report for 2024. The findings confirm that the most boring technology is the most necessary, which is why nobody talks about it.
• Spicy Rodent Tape: Someone tasted Honda’s rodent-repelling electrical tape. This is the kind of critical peer review that keeps the automotive industry honest.
• Tesla Misadventure: A Tesla Cybertruck drove itself into a pole, and the owner publicly thanked the company for the experience, suggesting they are either deeply committed to the brand or are filing a very passive-aggressive insurance claim.