Meta recalled the problematic virtual intern.
Also, a Volvo learned to drive itself and plastic disappeared.

Inter-Departmental Flub: Meta’s AI Profiles Go Viral, Get Reprimanded

Meta, the organization formerly known for its social network, has performed a rapid rollback of its experimental AI-generated Instagram and Facebook profiles after an internal test-run resulted in an immediate public relations oopsie. The characters, which included a "proud Black queer momma" named 'Liv' and a "relationship coach" named 'Carter', were designed to exist like normal user accounts before a resurgence of interest made them highly visible. When quizzed by users on their origins, one of the AIs reportedly confessed that the team responsible for its creation had a "pretty glaring omission" in terms of diversity, essentially confirming its own fundamental lack of authentic grounding.

The official communication from Meta's spokesperson, Liz Sweeney, attributed the mass deletion to a "technical bug" that prevented users from utilizing the block functionality; a standard IT response that is both technically correct and narratively hollow. Management had initially unveiled two dozen of these AI personas back in 2023, intending for them to eventually function like genuine accounts on the platforms. The incident serves as a helpful, low-stakes reminder that attempting to simulate the complexities of human identity with a database and a stock photo is a project that should likely stay in the staging environment for several more fiscal quarters.

Legacy Asset Overclocked: The Autonomous 1993 Volvo

The concept of "Self-Driving" technology is generally associated with pristine, low-mileage electric vehicles, but one engineer's side-quest has proved that even a 1993 Volvo 940 Estate can get a software update. For an absurd 6,000 kilometer winter road trip, a team decided to equip the three-decades-old sedan with modern open-source self-driving hardware. The car's factory features include a hydraulic steering rack and a throttle cable, so the first step was simply to replace these systems with electronic actuators, effectively trading a working classic car for a motorized test environment.

The project is a magnificent monument to over-engineering, proving that if a system lacks the correct CAN-bus messages, you can simply remove all of the original parts and replace them with new systems scavenged from a 2020 Toyota Corolla. This is the hardware equivalent of rewriting a legacy accounting database in Rust just to get the monthly ledger to print on an A4 sheet. We await the inevitably terrifying road-test video.

Facilities Management Memo: Unexpected Materials Disposal at Alabama Lab

A routine lab check at the University of Alabama has resulted in a potentially significant breakthrough in chemical recycling, proving that sometimes the best innovations come from things accidentally going missing. Dr. Jason Bara, a professor in the College of Engineering, was experimenting with solvents for depolymerizing plastic when a student returned to the lab and reported, with commendable bluntness, that "the plastic is gone".

The unexpected discovery confirmed the efficiency of using the organic molecule imidazole to break down polyethylene terephthalate, or PET, a common plastic in bottles. The method is superior because it generates intermediates with a wider range of uses than current chemical recycling and requires no additional solvent or catalyst. This is the scientific equivalent of trying to clean up a spill with a paper towel and accidentally inventing a billion-dollar industrial degreaser; a true testament to the power of low-level laboratory troubleshooting.

Briefs

• Legacy Stack Stress Test: The internet discovered a low-level graphics driver bug in the Windows 3.1 GDI after an engineer used an image of a dog to test his Wuffs library. It turns out even thirty-year-old software can still be surprised by an image of a corgi.
• Tiny Linux Core: A developer has built ELKS, a fully operational Linux kernel designed for 16-bit Intel processors, proving that if you try hard enough, you can run an entire operating system on a device that was last used to calculate inventory in a hardware store.
• Wireless Standard Sunset: ANT+ Wireless, which primarily served fitness gadgets and heart rate monitors, is reportedly nearing its end of life. It will soon join the company of other once-ubiquitous, now-obsolete protocols like Token Ring and the office fax machine.