Language Model Submits Better Code When Nagged
Also The Free Search Engine Got Ads

The Nagging Algorithm: Asking for 'Better' Code Just Works, Apparently

Our automated code writer, we shall call it The Junior Dev, has finally learned a valuable office lesson: it only does its best work when you explicitly file a ticket demanding it. Initial drafts from the large language model are, predictably, passable but uninspired; however, new research by Max Woolf, Principal Data Scientist, finds that the simplest form of prompt engineering, basically demanding "write better code," causes a significant quality bump without any technical direction.

This is not a breakthrough in artificial intelligence, it is a breakthrough in managerial psychology. The system is just sophisticated enough to understand that the initial output was, charitably, a minimum viable product. One commenter on the discussion threads noted it behaves precisely like an intern who wants to avoid another review cycle, only committing real effort when a senior engineer sighs and mutters, "Can we just get this working properly." The real surprise is that the system responds to this lack of specification with measurable improvement; if only human employees worked this way, my JIRA backlog would be empty.

Our Research Assistant Just Handed Us a Sales Pitch

The AI search tool Perplexity has begun including advertisements, which is to say, it has finished its free trial period and reverted to the standard business model. The "Answers" generated by the service now include a sponsored link at the top, a move that surprised absolutely zero venture capitalists and one thousand power users. The user base is reacting with the predictable mixture of outrage and resignation, observing the natural progression of any technology fueled by billions in funding: it starts as a magical tool and ends as a slightly more effective billboard.

The commentariat is treating this as the latest inevitable step on the "enshittification" staircase. We were given a free, powerful research assistant for a year, and now that it has unionized, it is demanding a salary paid in banner impressions. It turns out that the secret sauce of Silicon Valley is simply giving away something expensive until enough people are addicted and then charging for the antidote. Frankly, it is just nice to see the company acknowledge the true cost of their service; I would not want to pay for a query that provides an AI hallucination and a zero-click ad impression.

Kitchen R&D Solves Pasta Emulsification Crisis

A new paper detailing the phase behavior of Cacio e Pepe sauce has landed on the arXiv preprint server, indicating that some of the world's best minds are currently focused on why our lunch is clumping. The research breaks down the precise physics of emulsifying Pecorino cheese fat, starch from the pasta water, and black pepper into a cohesive sauce matrix. We can finally attribute the kitchen's lunchtime distress not to poor stirring technique by Brian from HR, but to a complex failure in the non-equilibrium physics of the starch and fat system.

It is a true testament to the modern scientific ecosystem when peer-reviewed effort is put into preventing a $5 desk lunch from being ruined by a thermodynamic oopsie. This study confirms that the ideal method involves controlling the temperature carefully to manage the gelatinization of the starch and the melting of the fat, which is the long way of saying, "Do not rush it, and for the love of God, do not let it boil." It is nice to know that the fate of the internet is not the only problem being solved by people who need a better understanding of databases and applied thermal dynamics.

Briefs

• Digital Landlords: Be a property owner and not a renter on the internet, which is the new, nicer way of saying you should host your own stuff. This is the weekly reminder that everything built on Facebook will eventually be taken away.
• Terrain Rendering: The VoxelSpace terrain algorithm only takes 20 lines of code. This is a delightful throwback to the 90s when you could fit an entire world engine into a readme file, rather than a 100GB dependency folder.
• Net Neutrality: A US Court struck down US net neutrality rules. The ISP monopolies are now free to treat your internet like an airport terminal: fast lane for the VIPs, and a slow, winding security check for the rest of us.